Onion Pie

 I hesitated on this post at first, because first, I'm not great with pies, and second, the volume of butter of required for their crust usually puts them out of consideration for an economical dish. But then there was a ten-pounds-of-onion-for three bucks special at one of the area produce markets, and I obtained a pie crust through mysterious means, (COUGH FREEZER COUGH) so I figured I might as well give this pie a shot.

Fruit pies are, obviously, best made in the summer (or possibly fall) when there is more that fruit than you know what to do with. An onion pie, on the other hand, is entirely suitable to winter or early spring, when nothing is growing so nothing is cheap and there's nothing to do but twiddle your thumbs, have Lent, and wait for things to sprout.

Ingredients

6lbs of onions (yes, really.)

A pie crust (and you're not getting a recipe out of me, go ask someone who's better at it)

3tbsp oil (I used bacon grease, thus disqualifying this from being as vegetarian as it would otherwise be)

A sprinkle of a savory herb (I used thyme)

Get your largest and heaviest pan and start heating the oil in it. Meanwhile, start chopping the onions (medium dice) and throwing them into the oil. Do you need to look as if you have suffered a devastating tragedy, without the trouble and bother of suffering a devastating tragedy. Make this pie.

You're going to be caramelizing all six pounds of onions. Dang.

This means keeping the heat on medium (you'll want to err on the side of lower rather higher). As you add them, stir them well to get them coated with the oil. Then keep stirring them - not frantically, but regularly. This will take at least 30 minutes, but you will have the satisfaction of watching your stew pot full of more onions than you think anyone could possibly eat turn to a rich soft caramel just right for your pie crust. 

Once the whole mixture is as brown as you like, and you can no longer distinguish individual onion pieces, pour it in. You can sprinkle something savory on top to contrast with the rich sweetness of the onions. I tried thyme; you could try parmesan cheese maybe.

Oh, right. The pie crust. Do what you do with pie crusts. Here I got all fancy with it, because why not. It still stuck to the pan. Take my advice on onions. Don't take my advice on pie crusts.

(Except this one prize-winning crust I made this one time with ground walnuts, which come to think of it would go really well with this pie.)

Cost:

Onions: $1.50

Crust: (depends, say $1.50 too?)

Serves: 6-8, but works best accompanied with something. A nice sharp green salad, for instance. 

Grasshopper Pie

Today is pie day, and so Bess and I decided we needed to put up a post about pie. Grasshopper pie is the pie that, to me, tastes like childhood birthday parties. We didn't really cook with booze generally, except for this pie. I don't know at what point it was that I learned that it was actually based on a cocktail. Chocolate. Mint. Whipped cream, marshmallows, Oreos. What could be better? And you don't even need to do a pie crust. (I tend to avoid pie crusts whenever possible. I have been known to throw fits involving throwing pot holders across the room due to burnt pie crusts.)

I tend to decorate the top with Oreos. My sister has done the top with Andes mints.

Ingredients
For the filling:
32 large marshmallows or 3 c mini marshmallows
½ c milk
¼ c crème de menthe (white works, but green is dramatic)
3 Tbp white crème d cacao (doesn't have to be white, but it's prettier)
1 ½ c whipping cream
green food colouring (optional)
For the Crust:
1 1/2 rows of Oreos, crushed
4 Tbps. melted butter

Melt marshmallows and milk over medium heat, stirring constantly. When marshmallows are melted, remove from heat, and let cool until thick (in a cold kitchen with a granite counter, this took about an hour and a half).

Meanwhile, assemble the crust. I crush oreos in a food processor, then put them in the crust with the melted butter and pat into the pie pan.

Blend liqueurs into the marshmallows. This can be tricky, since the marshmallow has basically resolidified. If you have an immersion blender, it's hugely helpful.

Whip the cream, then fold into the marshmallow mixture. Pour into prepared crust, and decorate with oreos, if you want. (I actually prefer the inside cream to the crust and oreos, but it's prettier this way.) 

Put in freezer, and freeze for at least 4 hours.